If youand're cold, well hereand's a plan:
pull the plug out of your fan
if youand're hot, now hereand's a scheme:
park your botty in the stream
if youand're tired, check this plot:
seek a source that hits the spot
if youand're snooty, hereand's a ploy
stroll along the hoi polloi
youand'll not have owt to show for it
if you donand't go for it
youand'll have to come to terms with it,
get on the firm with it
if you donand't get to grips with it,
youand've had your chips with it
youand'll only come to rue it if you donand't do it
If youand're lost, well try this notion:
find yourself a magic potion
if youand're angry, check this wheeze:
count to ten and then say, and'cheeseand'
if youand're uptight hereand's the answer:
learn to be a belly-dancer
if youand're concerned, suss a wangle:
try it from a different angle
now you can put a name to it,
you must lay claim to it
youand'll have time to regret it,
if you donand't go and get it
you wonand't have much to talk about
if you donand't go on walkabout
donand't think you wonand't mind it
if you donand't try and find it
No-one said you must be good as gold
itand's what you havenand't done
that matters when youand're old
no-one said these things are pre-ordained
nothing ventured...
If youand're guilty, cop a stroke:
you only did it for a joke
if youand're dozy, hereand's a tactic:
tell and'em all theyand're too didactic
if youand're fed up, hereand's a wrinkle:
let your piano forte tinkle
if youand're wobbling hereand's a trick:
happy go toilet, click, click, click
